"The Feminization of Cities, Society, Politics" or Protect the Sanctity of Your Bodily Fluids

Frank Hilliard writes:

"Anyway, while mulling over this victim-oriented approach to crime, imagine my shock this morning to find an article in The Toronto Star, that bastion of Liberal thought, that explains what's happening; poisons in the environment are feminizing males! Eureka!

Chemicals commonly found in food wrapping, makeup and baby powders are having a gender-bending effect – feminizing male populations of wildlife and humans, a scientific report reveals.

"This research shows the basic male tool kit is under threat," says author Gwynne Lyons, a former health adviser to the British government.

God, I'll say. And since these chemicals are concentrated in the cities, they're the first to go left, as it were; the first to want to find a strong figure to replace the man they either used to have, or were themselves."

Frank, it's only a matter of time before these toxins begin altering your precious bodily fluids and turning you into a metrosexual. May I suggest drinking rainwater exclussively?